Ashley Kay notes, that "women have it in their DNA to test men. They do this without realizing it themselves." Kay notes, that the woman, "needs to be sure that she has picked the right man" for the role of providing her cover, lest her investments are in vain.
What are your thoughts on this? Is it true? Do women test men? Have you been a victim before? Are you an ongoing victim?
The Saint.
Link to Series:
Francis Chinaka: Bros, leave matter for Martha O! It is better to settle with the “test tendencies” of these mesmerizing goddesses on whose planet we find ourselves. Trust me, there are more ‘charms’ in their handbags, some more odious - to borrow your words. For instance, have you considered the one they call “edge on”? Let me try to describe as my finite mind may fathom. It is that one that gives the man the impression that he occupies a prominent space in their thoughts, whereas he has actually not even crossed the entry gate. Why they do it? I think it’s just to convince themselves that they truly possess such powers over the “foolishly proudful” men, like you mentioned. I think they are fascinated at the sight of “lions” suddenly becoming tamed like “chihuahuas” in their presence. Let me come and be going o jare. What do I know?
ReplyDeleteAkin Akinbodunse: Wow! I love it. Great perspective. Women! God create sha.
I hear you, my brother. The unfortunate thing is, it works for the nerds, not for the professional hunter men. They enjoy hunting the hunter.
Francis Chinaka: Until they meet their match.
Akin Akinbodunse: Unfortunately. And, they so often do, while thinking they are smart.
Adetutu Oshofowora: I need to understand what we mean by test Sir. Is it wrong to be sure the man I want to marry is the real deal?
ReplyDeleteAkin Akinbodunse: No, it is not wrong, but do you know the problem with testing? You sometimes find what you are looking for which might not necessarily be the truth. Being observant is right. Shining your eyes is right. Putting the man in sometimes compromisable condition or position to prove a thing or two might be counterproductive. Do you get my drift?
God does test us, or allow us to go through tests. He is God, He is entitled to that. None of us is in that position over the other. Playing God might just be an error. Do you agree?
Adetutu Oshofowora: My challenge is that I don’t even understand this concept of the test. Okay, for example, what exactly do women do if they want to test if a guy is honest.
What are they testing for example by putting him in a compromising position? What exactly is this compromising position they put him?
Akin Akinbodunse: Great questions. We will break it down with specific examples to follow, both personal and general. It is an unconscious thing you all get to do, but with far-reaching ramifications.
So, let me hit straight on your first question, "What exactly do women do if they want to test if a guy is honest?" The very question itself speaks volumes. It is an attestation to the trajectory we are on. To ever think of a test in the first place might sound reasonable, but in the very skim of human relationships is rather odious. No one has the right to test another human being. That sounds chauvinist. Right?
So, let me bring it home to business. I had two permanent employees in my company and foundation. So, the parallel of the question would have been, "What exactly do I do if I want to test if they are honest or not?" My answer is nothing. Give time. Time is a reveler of secrets of the heart. Is that good enough?
Adetutu Oshofowora: Yes, you give them time and responsibility. Then observe.
Could it be then that women are mixing up responsibility and tests, thinking they are the same thing?
Because there seems to be no point in these tests actually. I didn’t even know that ladies test guys. I can’t relate. Are they labs?
Akin Akinbodunse: They do. And, many don't know they do. It is kind of instinctive. I will share specific examples in the following parts. These will illustrate why women conduct these tests, and why they are detrimental.
Francis Chinaka: With respect to marriage, I think testing a man’s loyalty, honesty and authenticity are counterproductive anytime. For one, he may fail your test, but before God, is the man for you. On the other hand, he may pass your test and yet be the devil’s distant step-son. Besides, people change over time, experiences, and as a function of the aging process. Your priorities in your twenties and thirties, especially for women, change in the forties and fifties, also with family now in focus. Therefore, for the Godly woman, it pays better to stay with the ageless principles of God’s Word and trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now, that is no guarantee that everything will be rosy or as expected. But you would have married for purpose and for destiny, all things considered. Now to the rest, if your test is about financial stability, hmm, that is a slippery slope. Build your own wealth and be self-sufficient. That way, you can go into marriage with both eyes opened and no
ReplyDeletepressure.
Akin Akinbodunse: You have hit the very crux of the message. I plan to share specific examples to illustrate just what you have hinged on. Thanks, for such a beautiful in-depth contribution.
Big Sam: So that men would pass.
ReplyDeleteAkin Akinbodunse: Hahahaha...is that your experience? You did not fail any exam?
Beauty Oshisanya:
ReplyDeleteFor me, I think the feeling is mutual. You have to be wise as serpent and gentle as a dove. Test in this sense is like in the case of Abraham's servant, Eleazar and Rebekah. He observed her, asked God for a sign and she met all these requirements. Even God asks us to try him. So its not really bad as it were.
There are a lot of fake humans nowadays. Recently, a guy told my cousin he was bipolar in the course of finding out about themselves. She backed out because she wasn't sure of what to expect from him.
If you are going to live with someone for the rest of your life there should be a sort of investigation about him or her.
My aunt backed out of a relationship too because the guy was always measuring the amount of food to be cooked🙄
She could not cope with a stingy guy😂
Anyways, the ability to look before leaping would save a whole lot of people from future damages. My 1 penny contribution🤗