He Brought Me Out of the Miry Clay.

Introduction: 

Back in 2014, I wrote my testimony on how I came out of a two (2) years depression (2008 - 2010). One would have thought that was it. I had learned my lesson. I was now above depression. So, I thought. Well, life had a different plan for me. I had some more lessons to learn. I did not get it all from the first incident.

So, I got back in 2016 thinking I was coming back "home." Unbeknownst to me, the folks on the ground had a different agenda. They had all moved to leadership positions and were bent on enthroning their positions in our relationship. Fortunately or unfortunately, that runs counter to the core of who I am, as a Sigma Male. I had been in this same system for twenty (20) years at this time.

In twenty (20) years, now twenty-five (25), a lot of people have tried in various ways to subdue my person, all to no avail. I make no boast, but I CANNOT BE SUBDUED. SOMEONE IS GOING TO HAVE TO DIE, AND THAT PERSON AIN'T GOING TO BE ME. These foolish people, to whom history means nothing, were bent on their foolishness.

Unfortunately, I was not ready for this whole scenario. My guards were down. I thought I was home. Unbeknownst to me, I was at war. So, I reacted, rather than respond. I trusted and was confused as to all I saw taking place around me. People were sifted. Enemies were revealed, both the outright and the wolves in sheep clothing.

Friends also were revealed, the fair-weather ones and the true ones. Like I said, I wasn't ready for it, so I fell flat under the weight of it all. Unfortunately, it did not end with me, it culminated in a big error that affected my family negatively, in a big way. I held myself responsible for that and went further down into clinical depression. 

I lingered in depression expecting God to have pity on me, and come pick me up. Guess what? He didn't. I thought I was at my lowest and it couldn't get worse. Guess what? It did. For as long as I stayed helpless, things only got worse. It, however, was another opportunity to sift the people in my catchment. It was a revealer of the hearts of men.

My Gratitude: 

God did not leave me in the pit. He did not pick me up either. He waited till I understood, "we needed to do this together." He was not going to bail me out. I couldn't do it on my own either. He needed me to work through it with Him leading and enabling me. And, that is exactly what I finally did. He was not asleep when all that took place happened. He allowed it because He believed in me.

He believed in His investment in my life. His thoughts towards me are GOOD to give me a FUTURE and a HOPE. He is committed to his investment in my life. He just needs me to be committed also. Thank God, I am rising to the occasion. It only gets better.

St. Akin de Sage.