Who are you married to – a friend, an associate, or a complete stranger? Your answer sure makes a whole world of a difference. It makes a difference between heaven and hell in your marriage. For marriage is not just two people living together. It is not about two people managing each other.
"My husband and I are best of friends first and foremost. We fight like cats and dogs, but never stay mad for long. I was lucky to find him, he is in every way, my soulmate." - Carnie Wilson.Marriage is not meant to be endured. It is to be enjoyed. It is meant to be a paradise on earth. It is meant to bring the best out of us, not the worst. It is meant to accentuate our personality, not bury it. If our marriage is anything less than this there is a problem. We are living below par. Hope is not lost though. We can repair the broken walls.
"Marriage in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have." - Gordon B. Hinckley.Marriage is meant to be between two friends, two equals. It does not matter as much whether they were friends before they got married, though that would help, is desirable and preferable. What is most important is that they grow to be friends, and keep the light of their friendship ever aglow.
Where they start is not as important as that they build the friendship and keep it going. So, it does not matter what the state of our friendship might be. We can start today, for as long as we are willing. There is no case that is beyond redemption. We can, should, and must fight for our marriage, our home.
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest – never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership." - Ann Landers.Friendship is built on a healthy relationship. A book I once read defines a healthy relationship as one in which the parties come in because of what they can give, not what they can get. However, what keeps them together is not what they give, but what they get. A healthy relationship is based on equal partnership, by interdependent persons.
"Your wife is your equal. In marriage neither partner is superior nor inferior to the other. You walk side by side as a son and a daughter of God. She is not to be demeaned or insulted but should be respected and loved." - Thomas S. Monson.If true friendship is to be developed, both parties need to come together on an equal platform. The parties need to understand that neither is better, bigger, or more valuable than the other. They are simply different. They are made different to perform different functions and contributions, complementing and helping one another.
No function or contribution is better than the other. They are each building blocks with which the marriage is built. Each partner gives the best of him or herself without expecting anything in return, but the joy of having a strong, healthy, and successful marriage.
© 2017 Akin Akinbodunse.
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