Fighting The Enemies of Marriage (Part Eleven)

Overcoming The Fear of Commitment (Part Four): Disperse the Frog - - II

The next thing, according to Earl, that eats our lunch, in the fear space, is our past. We all have a past. We all came from somewhere. Some have pleasant memories, others have demons they'll love to erase. No matter where we stand there is really nothing we can do about our past. It is PAST - gone by in time and no longer existing. We no more live there. We should no more live there. It is meant to guide us, not define us. We are meant to use it, and not allow it to use us.

"Your past is just a story. And once you realize this, it has no power over you." (Chuck Palahniuk)

Crying or rejoicing over the past does us no good. It does no one any good. What is important is what we learned? What has it made us? Do we like it? If no, then it is a candidate for change. If yes, then it is something to build on. Irrespective, there is always work to be done. We are not home yet, nor will we until we die.

Like the financial advisors say, "Past performance is no guarantee for future results." Your horror past does not guarantee a horror future. Your pleasant past does not guarantee a pleasant future either. You are the deciding factor. It is not about where you came from. It is about who you are and choose to become. You hold the key to your better tomorrow, and you can make it the future of your dreams, not your nightmares.

Just because someone else marriage did not work is no reason yours will not. Just because the relation of yours is involved in an abusive relationship is no reason you will be. Just because you come from a broken home is no reason yours need to be broken. You can expect good things. You can expect better things. You can expect great things to happen to you. Why not? In fact, you have no other choice. That is if you want to live an exceptional, life-giving, and rewarding life. There is no other way. You have to be the prophet and guard over your life.

"Look well to this day, for it is life, the very life of life. In it lies all the realities and verities of existence: the bliss of growth, the glory of action, splendor of beauty. For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day, for it and it alone is life! Such is the salutation of the dawn." (Sanskrit Proverb)

There is nothing to be ashamed of about your past. If you were wiser you would have done better. You did as wise as you could. There is nothing to hide. It happened. It is a positive fuel for your journey. It is a catalyst for your better today and tomorrow. There is someone out there who will be blessed by what your story has made you.

You are a treasure. Never ever lose sight of that. And, never marry someone who wants you out of pity. If he or she cannot handle your whole story he/she is not the one for you. That person is not worthy of you. Keep searching. Keep waiting. You are being kept for that special someone who deserves you. You are uncommon. You are special. You are whole. You are sought for. You are being sought after. You are priceless. You are invaluable. Never ever lose sight of that.

© 2017 Akin Akinbodunse

Links to Study Series:

Fighting The Enemies of Marriage (Part Ten)
Fighting The Enemies of Marriage (Part Twelve)

Links to Other Resources:

Just Married (Margaret Ema)

You are Enough (Rainie Howard)

Naked and Not Ashamed (T.D. Jakes)

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